Jim James: 0:02

Welcome to this episode of The Silver Fox entrepreneurs, we're going to be asking the question, is it too late to be fashionable? I'm speaking with Nick Hems today who is a consultant to men about the impact of what they were making a difference to how they feel, and also how they're seen by others. We're going to learn why women, check out the heels of men's shoes, how some accessories can make you look more wealthy and successful, and also the impact of the clothes you ask your staff to wear on their performance and how they treat your customers.

Nick Hems: 0:37

welcome to The Silver Fox entrepreneurs podcast, the show for mature men with enterprise. Your host is Jim James an entrepreneur himself, who is doing his best to introduce guests who will bring you useful information and the kind of inspiration that makes running your own business, profitable and fun. We're building a community to so do rate and share the show afterwards.

Jim James: 1:09

So this week, on our silverfox entrepreneurs podcast, I've got the great pleasure of introducing Nick Hems. Nick has an amazing business where he's helping men in particular, with their fashion sense, and how it can help them also with their self confidence. So Nick, welcome to The Silver Fox entrepreneurs podcast.

Nick Hems: 1:30

I do thank you very much for having me.

Jim James: 1:32

It's absolutely My pleasure. You and I met last week or so when we did a film shoot with with Nick and will to create a video masterclass on styles for men in their later life. So first of all, I've got to ask you, for men like me in their early 50s? Is it too late to let start?

Nick Hems: 1:55

Never ever too late. I think a lot of people to try and get around to that. A lot of people confuse style and fashion together. And really the two are linked. And sometimes I call myself anti fashion. Because I just think it's about men no matter what their age, actually discovering what their own personal style is, and sometimes defined as a style personality. And that's why it's never too late to kind of find that out.

Jim James: 2:26

And how do you help people find out what their style personality is then Nick?

Nick Hems: 2:33

it's reasonably simple. I mean, first of all, if I if I take on a client or start working with someone, I'll just ask them a series of questions about their personality, about their lifestyle, about their likes and dislikes. And from that I can start gauging who they are introverted or extroverted. The kind of clothes that they typically like type of people, they hang around with people that they're potentially involved with at work, and I can start to get an idea in my own head of really kind of who they are and what they're about.

Jim James: 3:12

And when you're doing that, What experience do you call on? Is this something that you've trained in? Or you were just a stylish festival person in your own right?

Nick Hems: 3:23

I suppose a call on life experience and as well I have actually retrained as a stylist. So yes, I have a stylist qualification. But in the main, I probably call on my, my career in commercial sales. I've been fortunate enough to be successful in in sales, but in my time, I've literally worked it out sat in front of over four and a half 1000 different businesses. And, and, and kind of decision makers, from varying from, you know, large multinational companies, London, you know, agencies to small one man bands, you know. And what I've done in my time is I've done a lot of sales, training, and a lot of sales training tends to focus on the sales process, how to close, how to open. But what it doesn't really focus on is your appearance and how you appear. And that first seven seconds in front of someone how to make create a perfect first impression. And that's what I've kind of really focused on in my time is how to create that great opening first impression.

Jim James: 4:40

And how do you do that then, what would be some of the key elements, the one would need to adopt into one sort of sartorial sense.

Nick Hems: 4:52

I think economy to be a chameleon at times if it's in business this is as an example. And you've got to be looking at where you're going, who you're going to be seeing what kind of environment that's going to be in a coffee shop, or you meeting in their own business. And you dress accordingly to that, and that's where the kind of chameleon sense comes in. But you're also looking to be a chameleon, but also kind of express your own type of personality a bit into that. So it's just kind of creating this image of yourself that you understand the other person wants to see whilst being yourself and being warm and being open. And right letting that person know that you want to be there and that you're interested in them.

Jim James: 5:41

So is that that's a very hard challenge in a way, because you're going to be genuine in yourself who you are. And at the same time, you the same time you're trying to create some empathy mirror with the people that you meet, what, what if, what if you're in a room with lots of people? And often you go into a meeting, and there's different levels of seniority, maybe different nationalities? How do you accomplish that?

Nick Hems: 6:05

I think there needs to be it really is about authenticity. And obviously, you do your homework as to where you're going to go before dress in the right way dressed in the right style of clothing, or level of clothing, depending whether that's a full suit or smart casual. But then it really is about your authenticity, because you can never be everything to everyone. So you just got to try and say right, okay, this is me. Warm, friendly, open, body language with then be more key?

Jim James: 6:39

And what about the cost, then because you're in a way, you're almost implying that you need a different a different outfit for every, every occasion. For men, like me that finds shopping a little bit tedious, is it going to take me forever and cost me a lot of money.

Nick Hems: 6:56

It depends on where you want to look at it. But I think when you look at other areas in your life that you want to improve, you realize that it takes time and some some kind of investment always financial to put behind that, you know, you need to invest time and money into anything that you want to do to achieve or, and your parents do exactly the same. And yes, a lot of men find it really, really tedious. And a lot of my recently done a survey, and survey just over 200 guys, and found out that just over 50% of them had little or no decision in the clothes that they tended to wear daily. So that means that it was their wife, girlfriend or someone else that had the major role to play, know what they were. And I just think that i think that's quite far from

Jim James: 7:52

That's amazing. Do you blame school uniforms? I mean, as a boy, you know, we had to wear the same thing through the sixth form, and then you got jeans and a shirt? Is it is it school uniforms and sort of first interview suit from Marks and Spencers. And then that's it. What's to blame?

Nick Hems: 8:12

I think it's, I think it's this kind of strange impression that some men have of masculinity, and actually the clothes and the color of the clothes that they wear. No, it's not really their place to really care too much about that, you know, I'll go out and are biasing because I need a suit or I buy certain clothes, or I'll let the wife take care of that. But I don't really put that much time into exactly what they're buying, or exactly the impression that they're given off from the clothes that they buy. So I think a lot of men just think I've got too many other things to worry about. But that never be a concern, or someone else will take that away from me and I don't ever have to think about it.

Jim James: 8:55

Interesting, or they don't really understand the the impact. And I suppose that's part of what your what your work is about is we can't really abdicate how they look. Later on in life and in work anymore, right? Because people are increasingly having to be seen as a brand in themselves, aren't they? And so absolutely. How does that translate into, for example, when people have lost their job? Or they're starting a new company? Like silverfox entrepreneur? How do you help them to align how they feel and being authentic with their new business venture or the new persona their head? How do you help them with that?

Nick Hems: 9:37

Again, I think it's just about matching. What is it you're going to be doing? How do you feel about yourself? How do you want to appear? And then

Jim James: 9:49

Can you give us some practical, give us some practical examples. And obviously, if you're going to be a personal trainer, you probably don't wear a suit in the gym, maybe just practical, practical examples.

Nick Hems: 10:00

Well, if you're if you're kind of like offering a really defined stylistic business that there's a lot of attention to detail, then you want to pay a lot of attention to detail to your look, you know, so therefore it could be accessories, making sure when you go out, everything's in the right place, if that makes sense. And it's the smaller details that someone looks in you. Okay, describe pays a lot of attention to the way he looks, the way he dresses, his appearance, therefore, he's gonna pay a lot of attention, or his product or service is going to pay a lot of attention to me and what I want, and it's just kind of getting people to get that buy in on that angle. And if you take the kind of PT that put the personal trainer side of things, you know, it's like, okay, you might think you might think just dressing and invest in tracksuit bottoms is going to do the job. But are you taking care of your personal branding? You know, are you detracting that you've got on? Is it clean? Is it fitted? Potentially? Does it have your branding on it? Are you marketing your cells effectively? Is everything clean? And as it should be? And I think when you start to pay attention to that, people think that actually, you really do pay attention to your business, you want to pay attention to me, and that's what I'm going to get from that.

Jim James: 11:25

Right. So how you treat yourself and how you look is going to be how you treat your, your business and your customers. Right. So that's a really nice

Nick Hems: 11:34

I believe that. And I think if you take the example of a lot of women and what, you know, they go out on a date with a guy for the first time, you know, they're looking at how much tension this guy paid to himself. You know, and, and that kind of gives him an idea of potentially how they're going to treat someone you know, how do they treat? go on a date? How do you how do you look after yourself? And how do you treat other people around you that gives them an idea of how you may will treat them?

Jim James: 12:00

And yeah, I think you said something when we were talking before about shoes. Just Just tell us about how women's women's appear when they see a man shoes.

Nick Hems: 12:11

Okay, I'm strange. So I asked, throughout the years, a lot of women's opinions on men's shoes, and how that has created an impression in their mind as to what that man's like. So a lot of women will always look at a man shoes, when they meet them for the first time, if they go on a date with. And I've had it many a time where a woman I said, I'll actually pay attention to the back of a man shoe and how worn their soul is. And so it goes that far. And that actually really surprised me. But first time but then I've heard it multiple times since then.

Jim James: 12:51

Because it because it does mean that he's also got bad manners. Because if he's walking in front of the woman, he's not letting get ladies go first is he so he's also got two strikes against him deliberately getting on the bus or in the car.

Nick Hems: 13:06

I think now someone will want to walk behind and check out what's going on behind the men that he put theirshelves, you know

Jim James: 13:16

There's a new level of stress, you have to check out the front and, and from top to bottom right.

Nick Hems: 13:23

That's what it's about. It's about details, isn't it is about details. And if you if you truly care about the way that you appear and want to appear in front of someone, then that is something you look at, you know, you, you may well, a lot of people don't but it's like polishing your shoes in the morning, you know, like that. Yeah, everyone used to do that used to be a theme, you know. But now you look at the state of some people's shoes. And I really think that does have an impression on the way that they kind of maybe treat other things.

Jim James: 13:54

I think I polished my daughter's shoes the other day and they're like, 'Dad, they're so shiny. I'm the only girl with Chinese shoes at school.' And I think when we were kids, you you had to stand in line every morning and have your shoes inspected. And so there was a lot of discipline in those days around that. And we talked a bit about the time but what about the amount of money I mean, most people can't afford multiple suits, multiple shoes. Any advice in terms of how to look good and accessible to different situations without buying new outfits all the time?

Nick Hems: 14:30

I think this is quite a nice question really because it also leans on sustainability, which is a bit of a buzzword was a massive buzzword at the moment. And I think is a couple of ways of looking at it. You know, I tend to buy while investment basis, so I might not shop very often but when I do or buy an investment he said it's a it's a really kind of good item of clothing that I know will last me a long period of time but is also versatile. So it means I can wear it, maybe smart, smart casual, and lots of different occasions. But I know if I look after it that eyes all over will look after me. And on the flip side of it is that there's less stigma attached to buying from secondhand shops these days, and you can pick up some really, really good bargains from secondhand shops, really great brands, depending on where you go. And if you know where to shop that have had that not been used at all, or hardly ever used. Plus, there are there are so sales are on pretty much your time of year. And you've got sales and you've got other other places where big brands will go to get rid, like factory outlets, cells and stuff like that. And big, big brands, labels have these, you know, and yeah, you know, it helps if maybe you could talk to an expert, or so called expert like myself that kind of knows where this stuff happens and goes on. But really, truly, if you want to look good, it doesn't have to cost a lot of money.

Jim James: 16:11

Well, that's it seems That's right. It's more about decisions. And consciously, you know, taking interest rather than just spending a lot of money. And what about hats, you know, I'm a big fan of hats, watches, you know, in Asia, where I was people looked at the watch. And if it was an expensive watch, they assume that you were successful. What about accessories, like hats, scarves, cufflinks,

Nick Hems: 16:38

I love accessories, I think it makes all the difference. And I think that's where a lot of men go wrong, because they just wear the basics, everyday stuff that you know, you have to kind of keep warm, or look respectable, you know. And I think accessories allows men in particular, because women have got this on path that allows men in particular, to express themselves to express a bit of personality, to add a bit of color to their wardrobe. So pocket squares, hats. tires, when you wear a tie, that's a really basic accessory. Because if you're wearing a suit, you always have to wear attire. But all these kind of small little pieces, you know, watches, cufflinks, bracelets, chains, there are so many accessories you can put with coding, even down to having a different color of shoe lace, you know, they all show a little bit of personality, a little bit of character, and it may stay a little bit about the person that's actually wearing it

Jim James: 17:40

And in terms of shoe laces, matching and so on. What about color? I mean, I have to confess I have read shoe laces in my blue shoes today. I didn't wear the you can't see them. But you actually had a TV journalist in China actually commented on my shoes and that shoe laces in in the studio was in front of the camera a little bit a little bit embarrassing. But what what about color? I mean? How does one choose? What's the right color? Or the wrong color? Is it for the season that you need to change colors? Or is it for the skin type or as we get older do we change

Nick Hems: 18:21

Skin tone, essentially. So right to get getting done to it, there are, the colors there is more defined on your skin tone. So as a male or female, you can either be spring, summer, autumn or winter. And that's color tied. But it's it's not so complex that you have to understand these because most people fall into what kind of color suit them as they go through life. And if you're wearing something, someone goes really good in that. So you bite into more of that color. And a lot of men tend to stick to no safe colors like maybe blue, which can be worn by reasonably good Yeah. Black, gray, you know, you can't go too wrong with both colors. But when you actually start putting, you know cobalt blue, or red or yellow into it. Different shades of these colors of all colors will tend to suit other people, some people better than others. And it's to do with you know, you have redness in your face, or different color will bring out your complexion in the best light, essentially.

Jim James: 19:35

And what about then if you've you've got your color down for the clothes. What about things like glasses? It's an accessory that's also functional. So I wear some all the time most people a lot of people do. Do you recommend that people wear just black normal square glasses or is there a strategy behind, behind the opticals as well

Nick Hems: 20:02

I think if you have one pair of glasses only then I think you go for you kind of go into it and bind the shape that's really going to best suit your face. And you go for a color that will go with all clothing, like a typical kind of black or silver, or maybe chrome, depending on what kind of glasses you're getting. You just have some really, really generic but suits the shape of your face. But then once you start going beyond that, you know, getting a red frame or a yellow frame or something different, you know, you can start to play around a bit, have a bit of fun and match it to maybe other stuff that you were in like you would with a pocket square or something like that, or what stuff

Jim James: 20:44

you you've mentioned there, the idea of having a bit of fun. What impact do you think clothes have on people's emotions. So that's a that's an interesting, area.

Nick Hems: 20:56

Massive, absolutely massive. So we'll go back to color for this. Sometimes, I really love yellow, and yellow is a color that is proven to actually, it's an optimistic color is the most optimistic color

Jim James: 21:12

I'm wearing a yellow sweater today. I got red, I got

Nick Hems: 21:15

It looks great. But yeah, it's a really optimistic red shoe laces color. So it's the opposite. It's the color of the sun, the sunshine, it reminds us of a summer here in the UK. So yeah, sometimes I just find myself putting on my yellow socks, if I can't find anything else you like to wear, because it just kind of cheers me up. And it does have a massive impact. I mean, you can go into real detail and say, if you're going into a meeting, and you want to build trust, then blue is a great color is a great generic color that people feel very, very comfortable with you. And it actually helps to build trust, reds, the color of passion, you know, you go out on a first date, and you wear a lot of red, that kind of red, is goe back to the blood and goes back to the heart. And red therefore s a passionate color of love, y u know, and it is pretty good. T e concept the heart, say racin, beating fast that beat, y u know, like I said, so. So col r has a massive impact on emotio. If you want to create some ki d of emotion, or kind of even n yourself or someone else th n absolutely. Clothing color s key. A

Jim James: 22:39

You mentioned there about someone else. Do you ever get involved in trying to help someone sort of do their own clothing and brand but also like their company or their team? Because uniforms, in restaurants or in delivery services, also makes a difference? So do you have any sort of views on colors and style sense for for the corporate world.

Nick Hems: 23:12

I have many views, I have many views of lots of things. I'm shocked at how many hours I see some really big companies get it wrong. But like, if you take for example, something that anyone can think of airlines, you know, they all tend to have uniforms quite striking uniforms. If you think back to the Virgin, Virgin Airways, American ladies uniform was a really bright, expressive red, and people tend to remember that. And then you then take it back to EasyJet, with their kind of orange and gray and their budget airway, but their uniforms, the budget as well. In my opinion, so we say and sometimes you know, that can have a real impact, you know, like wearing a uniform and the uniforms that you get your staff to wear as an impact in what people feel about the company. So going into a supermarket again, it's a really good example as the US that kind of gray and green, you know, impacts on how people feel about where they're shopping.

Jim James: 24:25

Yeah, so there's a whole morale issue isn't around clothing, both the colors, but also presumably the quality of the fabric.

Nick Hems: 24:34

You imagine, if you imagine it's not just me, for example, walking into a supermarket or seeing some what someone, it's how that person feels when they're wearing it. So it's a really poor quality because they've got to mass produce it. Then in the morning now just think that person feels when they're putting on that uniform one to their skin and they're wearing it all day. And you know them because they have to create a first impression in front of customers. And they're going to be very conscious about their where are they putting their staff in the right and the best possible frame of mind to be dealing with their customers? You know, so it goes a lot.

Jim James: 25:11

Well, and that's amazing. And where do you? Where do you go to find kind of information? Nick Hems? Where do you find your, your, your thoughts and your inspiration from, on this whole topic?

Nick Hems: 25:29

I guess I'm just, I guess it's just my passion. So I just do a lot of reading a lot of research. A lot of shopping. Find out, you know, we're talking about brands a little while ago, I find that what strangely, you know, what, are they each one or two? You know, why do they have a red uniform or green uniform? You know, and also, when I talk to my clients, I tend to very quickly find out a lot about their lives and where they're going, you know, if they're enjoying the why they employee, what was it they want to achieve? And when you go shopping, you tend to just pick up things very, very organically. And as it's my job, you know, I kind of breathe, because I guess you say, if you find the job that you love, you don't feel like you're working again. And this is certainly for me. I feel like this is my calling. So I'm just looking at stuff all the time.

Jim James: 26:29

Yeah, that's that's one of and tell me, Does your wife like to go shopping with you? Because my wife hates to go shopping with me, my younger daughter and I sit in the coffee shop while that older daughter and the mother go shopping? Is your wife sort of excited to go shopping with the you or does she stay in the coffee shop? Nick, and that's Nick. If he wants to find you, I mean,

Nick Hems: 26:45

I pretty think I'm a bit of a nightmare. To be fair. In fact, I know she thinks I'm a nightmare, because I'm because not only am I extremely particular about the of myself of what I want. I'm also extremely particular about customer service. So I'm probably the world's worst person, if I'm shopping for myse f, because I expect to look i to shopping to be really welcom d. And I want to find what I w nt to find. So yeah, I imagine t at I'm probably quite a nightma e. But yeah, I actually don't m nd going into the shops. And I l ke having an opinion as much as what I think about clothes an I give it you know. you've got the perfect name Nick hems for some interesting clothing. How can you people take you shopping? Or have you helped them with their shopping? Where can they find out about you? Yes, so my website is nickhem tyle.co.uk and right across social media. My handle is I am Nick Hems. So you probably find me easiest on Instagram under iamnickhems.

Jim James: 28:00

Nick, thank you so much for sharing. And I shall go back and look at my own wardrobe with it with a new eye. Thanks again for your passion for for sharing so much insight today.

Nick Hems: 28:10

Oh no, it's been an absolute pleasure. Thank you very much, dJim Thank you for joining us today. If you enjoyed the show, do please rate it and share it with your dad, stepdad, son, brother, uncle, boss, colleague, friend or anyone else who still has a business in them. Sharing is caring. And best of all, it's free. For more information about our entrepreneurial community, visit Silverfoxentrepreneurs.life